Your partner popped the
question, and in all excitement and thrill you said ‘Yes’. B ut later
you feel that this direction of the relationship is not the path you
want to continue right now. Marriage is a state of companionship between
two people and is also considered a significant milestone of your
relationship with your partner. However, people sometimes rush into the
decision of marriage without understanding the inference of the same.
Marriage is considered as one of the major decisions of life and you
might feel that your partner is ‘the one’ but when it comes to aligning
compromise, future goals, etc you might face hesitation into
implementing that. While you will get tempted to be a newlywed and
experience the lifestyle of a married person, it involves long-term
commitment, lots of patience, compromises, understanding for your
partner and you may not be ready to give that.
So here are some signs that indicates that you are not ready for
marriage:
-
You have known each other for a short time - Sometimes meeting someone and you feel where they have been all your
life and everything is so beautiful, you get serious just after a few
months and after 2-3 months they ask to marry you and you feel yes.
There are stages of being in love and rushing things in a relationship
can be considered as red flags. You may not notice it now but it can
have an effect on later stages.
-
You do not trust them - Trust is known as the fundamental building block of a relationship
and if you don’t trust them to share your secrets then you will not
trust them even after marriage which will make it worse.
-
Too many disagreements -
You and your partner go through so many disagreements and it escalates
into a fight. There is no space for peaceful conflict resolution then
you should slow down, take a step back and think about the
relationship.
-
Your priorities are different than theirs - If your priorities don’t align with your partner’s then you should
reconsider taking this huge step of being married, because if these
are discussed later it can lead to emotional turmoil for both.
-
You feel hesitant to settle down -
Though it is considered as wedding blues and others might say that it
is normal to get cold feet but when you actually feel hesitant, listen
to your instincts and get the hint. No good will come out of this if
you still wait for it to be normal once the wedding ceremony is over,
it will just worsen the situation later.
-
You cannot compromise -
If you have been on your own most of the time and it might be
difficult for you to compromise with your significant other. Even
after making the decision to get married and settle together and you
feel you cannot compromise then you are not ready for this step
-
You feel pressured - Your friends are getting married, starting a family and you are just
in a relationship, this creates a social pressure in you and you tend
to rush things. Even your family members may force you indirectly to
settle down and you feel like this is not the right time but you still
want to be up to their standards.
-
You think they can change - If things are not setting right with your partner and you feel that
if you get married to them, they might change then you should
reconsider that thought because as mentioned before marriage is a huge
step and is considered another milestone to achieve in a relationship
and if things are not right with your partner then you should discuss
together to reach to a mutual decision keeping in mind the needs of
each other.
Be honest and open with your partner and discuss with them about your
goals and plans for the future. If there are still any issues in the
relationship, work on them before getting on the road of marriage
because marriage is not always an easy path, there are challenges to
face and with patience and understanding, one can conquer these
challenges easily together. If you feel pressurized then don’t be afraid
to seek help, a
Therapist
will help you to figure things out on your own which will benefit you
not only for this decision but also for other life decisions as
well.