Whenever we think about choosing a life partner, we ask ourselves, “How
do I know he/she is the one?” But to answer that question, we first need
to understand what a relationship is. A relationship is a connection
between two entities. This connection can be emotional, physical,
professional, etc. When we start to develop feelings for someone, we
usually observe their characteristics and behaviour which are familiar
to every other human being like sense of humour, attractiveness,
kindness, intelligence, etc. The person’s traits, gestures and many
other of their characteristic features make us attracted to them and we
tend to see them as a potential candidate to have a relationship
with.
Finding someone whom you connect with easily, whose presence makes you
feel at ease, having their support in difficult times, a shoulder to
rely on, having someone to open up with in stressful times and, most
importantly, a person who loves and respects you is what most people
look for in a life partner, and finding that life partner can be
difficult. It is advised to handle these decisions with care and
patience. Rushed decisions may lead to conflicts from both ends. While
doubts and misconceptions are inevitable, when they are cleared, it will
all be worth the wait.
A relationship can be healthy or unhealthy depending on the nature of
the person in the relationship. Healthy relationships are those which
consist of open communication and mutual honesty, trust and respect. It
also involves compromises from both individuals without offending the
sentiments of each other. The characteristics of a healthy relationship
are- Commitment, being kind, making decisions together, understanding,
support and enjoying each other’s company. Being in a healthy
relationship brings in a stable and peaceful state of mind where
individuals can carry on their day-to-day activities without any
hindrances. On the other hand, unhealthy relationships are opposite to
healthy ones. It involves either partner trying to take control over
their significant other. They consider themselves superior and feel
entitled to make life choices for their partners. They don’t respect
their partner’s opinions and when their significant other says something
contradicting their ideas, they jump into emotional and mental abuse.
There is no room for open communication and respecting opinions, which
causes frustration and exhausts the mental state of their significant
other.
Here are the factors to consider while choosing a life partner:
Maturity
The meaning of maturity is fully developed and behaving like an adult.
A mature person will show maturity in four ways: Emotional, Physical,
Mental and Spiritual. An Emotionally mature person understands and
respects your point of view and openly communicates without hurting or
offending others. A Physically mature person is seen by maintaining a
healthy lifestyle like healthy dietary habits, exercising daily,
practising meditation, etc. On a Mental level, it is about how accepting
a person is when faced with difficult situations and apologises when
they are wrong. On a Spiritual level, it shows the person’s perspective
on life. They tend to say things like “happiness does not come from
materialistic things” or “nothing is permanent, enjoy the moment while
you can”.
Empathy
Empathy means putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. It means to
know how the other person is feeling by understanding their perspective.
An empathetic person will view things from your perspective to
understand you better.
Affection
Affection not only comes in physical ways but also emotional. An
affectionate person will show affection physically but also emotionally,
which means a feeling of trust, closeness, warmth and love will develop
towards the other person. Being affectionate not only means being able
to hug, and hold hands but also building the relationship to be able to
trust and being the support system for their significant other.
Chemistry
Most people do not consider this an integral part of choosing a
significant other, but it also plays a role in understanding the other
person better. The chemistry between two people means having a sense of
understanding about the other person’s likes and dislikes and relating
to them. Having chemistry will help you to stimulate the status of the
relationship and can get a general understanding of the person’s
behaviour and characteristics.
One of the main factors to look out for while choosing a life partner
is how well can they control and manage their anger. One of the root
problems of developing toxicity in a relationship is the inability to
control their anger. Temperament is an important factor to note while
choosing a life partner. If a person gets uncontrollably angry and acts
out on aggression then one must consider supporting and helping them
before taking any serious decisions